A Field Guide to Yapese Locomotion, Part 2

In last week’s segment, we learned many of the particulars of driving in this part of the Western Pacific. This week, we’d like to discuss the actual vehicles that you may be driving – or in some cases, pushing – once you arrive for your stay in Yap. The vehicles that follow are presented as often as possible in their natural habitats. None were hurt during the creation of this blog entry…

The Rough ‘N Ready

The Rough ‘N Ready is a party bus on steroids. Surprisingly shy and reclusive, it is most comfortable in Yap’s backcountry, where it can put its giant tires and skid plates to good use. To lure the Rough ‘N Ready into the open, try watering your yard until it turns into a mud pit, and then stand around saying “Tut, tut, it looks like rain.”

The MacGyver

One of Yap’s most common species. These beauties are a testament to the ingenuity of their drivers and the wonders of duct tape. Beware when following The MacGyver down the road, particularly if you are in a well-conditioned vehicle. They tend to be ill-tempered, and will often lob flotsam in your direction out of spite.

The Disco Darling

Sporting 360 degrees of tint, this vehicle is ready to raise the roof and party until dawn. Indescribably vain, it will often slow to a crawl as it passes a bank of windows, or even another of its own kind, just to catch a glimpse of its lovely teal reflection. The Disco Darling is horribly high-maintenance, demanding weekly oil changes and tire rotations. Avoid at all costs if it has recently chipped its paint.

The Station Wagon

Yap’s people-moving workhorse, and rarely seen empty, the Yapese Station Wagon is the most gregarious of all Yapese vehicles. The Station Wagon just can’t seem to get enough of people, and will often cram as many as 8 into its tiny bed. Seating arrangements vary, but rest assured that none of them take safety into account.

The Toyota Hilux

If we were going to buy a truck, particularly if we had plans to take over a small African country, we would surely buy a fleet of Toyota Hiluxes. These trucks don’t seem to be available in the States, but they seem to be the most durable vehicles on earth. Before coming to Yap, we had only seen pictures of them in National Geographic, usually carrying a cadre of AK-47-toting militiamen. Here, thankfully, they are put to more peaceful use, and live all the longer for it.

The Zombie

What was once a MacGyver can often, and tragically, through benign neglect, quickly morph into the rolling dead. And really, rolling isn’t likely once the jungle has begun its relentless attack. Should the Zombies ever awaken and begin roaming the streets and byways on their stilted struts, let us all hope that they are less ill-tempered than The MacGyvers that they once were, and hope to become again. Otherwise, we are all doomed.